Halfway...

So here we are, a tad over halfway through this outreach. Every day joy happens here, lives are changed, and human spirits are touched. It’s been an amazing stretch marked by so many wonderful patients, caregivers, dayworkers and volunteers. When I say that lives are changed I don’t mean just our patients, but ours also. We have given up families, friends, and lives at home to be here, and it isn’t without reward. I have made some amazing friends to share this season of my life with, and I am changed every single day by their love, encouragement, friendship. The patients have taught me more in the past 5 months then I could have ever imagined. I have seen these people hurt, witnessed heartache, come to know the faces and hearts of those who have been abandoned by their families and communities for something out of their control, witnessed their longing for love, their faces in joy, triumph, and sadness. I have cried alongside them and celebrated with them. I have been a part of surgeries that I never thought would have been possible even in the western world. I have seen 4 different patients have their whole bodies blood volume replaced with that of crew-members. I have watched beautiful children and adults faces as we tell them that we unfortunately cannot help them, and I have had to give that all over to God. I have learned so much about Him since planting my feet on West African soil. His constant provision, His love, His character, His grace, and His hand on my life and those around me. As we pass this halfway mark it is bittersweet. I have watched friends come and go with little pieces of my heart. I have watched people walk away from the ship defeated, holding only the fact that there is no help for their physical problems, and I have watched patients miraculously heal and head home ready to start their lives over. New--healed--changed. Several of them have been patients who came to the ship as a last resort, death staring them in the face and fought a good fight. I have seen the lips of both babies and 50 year old women repaired, tumors removed, legs straightened, VVF’s repaired, and sight restored. 

This past week my heart has constantly felt on the edge of breaking, like a damn just on the brink of overflowing. Trying to narrow down what exactly those feelings are, I’m honestly not quite sure. It’s this mix of insane love, joy, sadness, excitement, anxiety, and a whole other hot mess of emotion. It’s that feeling you get in your gut when you know things are about to change, but this time in a bigger way. Again, friends are leaving that I have literally spent every single day with for the last five and a half months, but it’s also mixed with my decision to stay. Yes, you heard me correctly-- After much prayer I have decided to stay in West Africa for two extra months and see this field service to a close. I am going to sail away from this place with the ship, seeing a whole outreach start to finish. It feels exactly right, but it’s not without a price. I will miss things at home. I have missed weddings, engagements, relationships starting and stopping, birthdays, everyday happenings and holidays. This decision means that I will continue to miss both small and big life moments. I will miss the birth of a very special little guy--Jonah Edward. I will miss concerts, camping trips, meals with friends, and the start of my very favorite activity of summer: Our Mission St. Louis summer sports camp/block party. I am missing out on sharing daily life with important people who mean the world to me. But I have to put all those cups of coffee, craft nights, and dinner dates on hold for a few more months, because even with all of that laid out in front of me, I still know that God is calling me to stay. I need to finish what I have started here, I need to finish out this season of my life. This part of me aching to serve His people here, that is pulling me to breathe in every single minute of the dirty Guinea air and that is overflowing my heart with joy. As hard as it is to say, and as selfish as it somehow feels. I have to do this for me. I have to trust that he is providing love and companionship to people at home, and that this is my time to fly. This is my time to figure out who I am and how I fit in this world. Figure out what makes me tick, what makes me, me. As crazy as it feels, this place truly is the perfect fit for me. I would do this job every day for the rest of my life and love every single second of it. The idea of going home to find a job that is simply mediocre in comparison is depressing, but how can I possibly recreate this at home where we have so much? Where we expect our medical care to be taken care of and consider it a right. Where we always have clean water, have eradicated malaria and cholera, have both the education and ability to carry out a healthcare system. My next step in this world, and the answer to these questions I don’t know, but what I do know is that I have until June to figure them out. Because of the love and support I have been shown by my family and friends who have chosen to support me, I’m not coming home--but staying to continue serving in my new home, the place I get to change lives every day, the place where my heart just fits.....

Here are the numbers of our service up here in Guinea since screening day: 

Mercy Vision

Cataract Surgeries 743

Pterygium Surgeries 45

Eye Evaluations 11,496

Distribution of Glasses 1,242 (UV, reading, or prescription glasses)

Routine Eye Exams 508

Outlook of Hope

Maxillofacial Surgeries 241

Cleft Repair Surgeries 88

Reconstructing Hope

Plastic Reconstructive Surgeries 18

VVF/RVF  40

Specialized Surgical Solutions

General Surgeries  127

Orthopedics

Orthopedic Surgeries 116

Ponseti Clubfoot Corrections 51

Palliative Care

Provide Home-care for Terminally Ill 22

Guinea Smiles

Dental Care - tooth decay infection removal 50,546

Clinical Dental Hygiene Services 418

Hospital Chaplaincy

One on One Counseling Sessions 2,061

Bibles Distributed 88

One on One HIV Counseling Sessions 315

Mercy Ministries

Partner Ministry Site Visits 148

Crew Participation Opportunities 1,209

Just take a minute to read those numbers again, and think about a face to match each one...To those of us with the privilege of being here they aren’t numbers, but people who we have come to know and love, people who have had a part of their life changed. 

Thank you for your constant support and love........