He needs you.....

Here is what is on my heart today as I sit down after my shift. I had another day to take care of the bravest guy I know, “T”. Our morning began with him clapping to get my attention a towel clamped over his face. His tumor had ruptured open, again, this time in a different spot. There was blood pouring out in fine steady stream, I grabbed a dish to collect it in, but not before it was on the floor, on his sheets, his gown, and the towels. About 100mls came out before it stopped- no this doesn’t seem like alot, but when its blood straight out of the tumor on your face it’s scary. The upside is that he feels alot better after this happens, it actually relieves some pressure! We had a great day and he even went to ward service with me to spend some time worshiping and dancing. Our afternoon was spent out on Deck 7. After all the other patients have left after their allotted hour the two of us always stay. This gives him time to stretch, exercise, and sit in the peace and quiet of the outdoors gazing onto the horizon ocean as far as you can see. The last two days he began doing pushups against the railing of the ship. Of course I jumped it, thinking this can count as my workout right? Brother did 50 pushups in a row, I may or may not have been sweating! Today he did 5 sets of 20 of varying types. I was corrected more than once because I was placing my arms incorrectly. I think he secretly loved teasing me that I was wrong because when I told the other nurses about it back down on the ward he was smiling ear to ear. It’s wonderful to spend my days with him, but every time I stop moving its suffocating to think of the reality. Today may have been “T”’s last Sunday and his first and last ward service. Tomorrow he may begin his last week. Wednesday may be his last day on this earth. The risks are infinite going into his surgery, one wrong move and he could bleed out or have a stroke, his body may just be unable to handle the stress of the operation. I pray that neither of those things happens and that we can remove the tumor and change his life. Because we use crew members as blood donors we begin the process tomorrow of prepping 10 crew members for his big day. He will take 2 infusions straight before surgery. They will be fresh, literally still warm from the donor in order to have the clotting factors on our side. 6 more will have already given in preparation for the OR and then 2 more will give as they are closing in order to give him more of the factors he needs. It is all hands on deck for his case and I know that Dr. Gary Parker is the best man for this case. He has operated on many cases just like this and is the most kind, compassionate, and skilled surgeon I have ever worked with. But it’s hard, my heart aches, I am so physically aware of what can happen. It’s consuming, my desire for God to heal him. I know that it is possible, that of all places it could happen here on this hospital ship in West Africa. I just ask each one of you to please pray for him. Please send up a few thoughts in the next few days and especially on Wednesday as he heads in for surgery. It’s a difficult place to be knowing that you need so much faith for him, but in the back of your mind preparing yourself in case the worst happens. I’m here in yet another situation that I just cannot fix. I can’t change it, I can’t save him, this is where I shrink and God has to take over. He has a plan for “T”, whether or not it’s one I want. So  today I hand it over to the one who can change it for “T”. I give Him my entire heart. I owe Him my full faith, I owe Him my desperate prayers. I will deal with Wednesday afternoon when it arrives, but for now all I can do is pray. Please join me- he needs you.....