Friday, November 8, 2013

What does Love look like?


This is a question I’ve asked myself over and over in the last few weeks. I think I began asking myself the question only minutes after I received the call that I needed to come home. I thought about it a lot during my nearly 23 hour travel home, and it has consumed my thoughts late into the night after my Grandma has gone to bed. It’s popped into my mind as I look at her across the room sitting quietly in her chair, and it’s blaring as I pack up this life here again only to board another plane to Africa...... What does love look like? Does it look the same to everyone? Does it transcend all languages?  Does it have a universal symbol?

Love is something we all reach out for and crave, it’s what makes this great world spin and what our Father gave to us freely. We see it on billboards and commercials. We sing about it in songs, and plaster it on cards. The Beetles said that “All you need is love” and Ingrid Michaelson said that “love can pay the bills” For me, I have never had a deficit, not once. Even in my worst moments when I have felt alone, I have never ever been without love. I have been shown so much love in my lifetime by so many people, and have felt surrounded especially during this time with the loss of my Grandpa. 

In the last few weeks these are a few ways love has looked to me:
Love has looked like friends putting important tasks and jobs to a screeching halt and staying up half the night so that I wouldn’t have to be alone. It’s listening and crying alongside a friend even when you can’t find the right words. It’s being handed freshly made cups of coffee in between meetings, and it was in the room when I came back after a long day of organizing my departure to find my laundry done and folded. It was there as I was given one last “see you later” hug only to be handed a bag of snacks thoughtfully packed for a long plane ride. It’s in the notes quietly slipped between clothes only to be discovered once my feet were back on American soil. It’s text messages and phone calls across the oceans and across state lines. It’s a handmade card in the mail from a dear friend far away. It’s driving hours one way to be there on a hard day. It’s a best friend dropping all her plans at the last minute in order to cram all proper fall activities into one day. Love is staying up late to just “be” next to a beloved friend and waking up early in order to fit one more cup of coffee into the day......

To my Grandma love looks like cleaning kitchen cabinets and sleeping in her bed so that she doesn’t have to be alone. It’s holding together the pieces for her when her heart was just torn in half. It’s being there every moment of every day as she figures out her new life. It’s being the reminder to take medication when that is the last thing on your mind.  It’s being present when the other part of you has gone missing, and you know that it’s never coming back. It’s making noise, in a house that soon will be far too quiet after spending 56 years in it with the love of your life.

If you put 10 people in a room and asked them to describe love, they may all give different answers. The answers could be simple, flowery, poetic or funny depending on your crowd, but for me;  Love is practical, Love takes time, Love is being present, and Love can transform your life.  It’s thoughtful, generous, and time consuming. It’s putting yourself out there and expecting nothing in return. It’s wonderful to receive and even better to give. It’s in the bigger things, but it’s also in the smaller gestures. It’s in the actions that make the other person pause and reflect, grateful for the people they have surrounded themselves with and the life they have formed.......Love will always win, Love is all around us, and I think I agree with the Beetles.....Love is all we need.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Unexpected


I’ve put this blog off for days--2 weeks in fact........ I’ve finally slowed, and have forced myself to put some words on paper. I don’t know exactly what to say, but I know that I need to explain my long absence. I had to leave the Africa Mercy for awhile, and today 16 days after I arrived home, two weeks after he died, and one week after we laid him to rest, I write this sitting in my Grandpa’s chair. 

On July 22nd, my 25th birthday, one of our worst fears came to be. The pain in my Grandpa’s ribs that we had talked about for 2 weeks was more than just an ache. He had bone cancer in multiple spots the worst of which was in his back. I was at the very end of six amazing weeks at home, and the next day I was due to go back to the Africa Mercy. It was a horrible night of contemplation, but based on him saying, “now Hannah, you ARE getting on that plane tomorrow and you WILL go and help people” I went. The next day I boarded a plane and met the ship to sail into the Republic of Congo for another field service. The last two and a half months have been off and on, one step forward and two steps back. I have talked to my Mom almost every day getting updates on what was happening with Grandpa. As time went on we had small victories and major setbacks. It was horrible to watch my family struggle from another continent. Helpless was the word I used most to describe my feelings. It was consuming, and insanely difficult. We always left each conversation with me asking, “Do you need me?” and my Mom always replying, “Not yet Boo...not yet”.  Many doctors appointments, radiation treatments, a feeding tube, home oxygen and several transfusions later I received the phone call that I knew deep inside me would eventually come no matter how much I prayed it wouldn’t. Grandpa was ill, and It was time for me to come home. Only after all we had battled through, this one hit my family like a 90mph curve ball---my grandpa had suffered a devastating stroke while in hospital. We didn’t see it coming, and there was no way for us to anticipate this twist.  It didn’t look recoverable, and over the phone at two am locked in my friends bathroom, my family and I had those horrible end of life conversations that no one ever wants to have. In a little over 48 hours I filled out all the paperwork, handed over my job educating the local nurses, said goodbye to my amazing friends, took one last ride through Pointe Noire and boarded a plane home. The 22 hours of flying time were some of the longest. Finding a place for internet at the airports, waiting for that message, unsure of whether I would make it home in time. I arrived back on US soil the 13th, my Brother and Dad picked me up, and we drove straight to the hospital. I got in at 7:15pm.  Jet lagged, greasy, and emotional I went to see him.... 

I had 24 hours with my Grandpa before he passed. He was not conscious any of those hours, but it was a time for me to just be with him. To tell him stories of the Congo, reminisce about all those times we had while I was growing up, and share with him my deep love for him. To tell him that it was okay for him to go be with Jesus, and assure him that we would all take care of Grandma. It was so difficult, but a beautiful time for my family to surround him. It was incredible that during his entire illness, he never had to spend the night alone. He had someone with him around the clock. He was loved so deeply, and it was evident during his last days how greatly he was cared for. How many lives he had impacted, and how well he had raised a family. My Grandpa went to be with Jesus on Monday October 14th with 6 of his surrounding his bed. We wept together, and as he left this world we knew that he was going somewhere far greater than here.  For the next week we camped out at my Grandma’s. Supporting one another, mourning together, sorting through photos, and just celebrating the life of one of the greatest men I have ever known. My Grandpa was a proud man, and he constantly made me laugh. He was famous for his printed T-shirts with clever sayings, his sandals that left permanent tan lines on his feet, and his 2 sweaters that he had worn for the last 20+years. He was known for his glory days in the Barber Shop quartet, his many years behind the meat counter at the grocery store he owned, and his 25+years working for Pitney Bowes. He will be remembered for his ridiculous ability to rig anything with a rubber band and a paper clip, his affinity for tarp straps, and his jokes. He will be remembered for his amazing cooking, his love for motorcycle trips, his proud service to the military,and his use of the saying “simmer down” to his giggling grandchildren. He will be remembered for his incredible ability to remember dates, his long stories, his love for fishing and his hilarious emails. He taught me to save, to take care of what I had, to re-use things. He taught me loyalty and how to honor those you love. He taught me how to serve with zeal, and that you should always give to another human. He was highly regarded by all who knew him, and he will be so deeply missed. There is a definite hole in my heart, and I really can’t believe that he’s gone. His life is permanently ingrained in my soul, and who I am today is in so many ways because of him.....It won’t make sense to any of you, but as far back as I can remember he always said it to me, and I always knew it...... “I love you bushels, pecks, heapy gobs, and more and more too”.

I love you Grandpa, and I can’t wait to meet you again one day.........


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Adjustment....

This week has been a tough one on the wards. They have seen heartbreak and success, and I have only shared in a brief moment of it all. I love my new job, but I feel absolutely disconnected from the place I love most. I have my second shift on the wards this evening after they have been open for a week, and I cannot wait. It feels strange to walk down the hallway multiple times a day, and to not be a part of the beautiful life happening behind the doors. To have a heavy heart for all the hard cases and joy for all the happy ones, but not really know the patients at that core level. To not have them excited to see me, because after all, who am I? The girl who walks through and greets everyone, but not the one who stays late into the night holding their hands when they are scared. I guess it would be safe to say I am mourning the loss of my old job.......I can't put any words to the week, but I know my friends Deb and Amy can....please take a moment to read and pray for sweet little baby girl's family.




Deb's blog
-->  please read further down as she speaks of other patients on the wards


As for my one patient I have been able to care for, she had her surgery yesterday. We will call her "G" and when I went down to visit her after the case, her mama had nothing but tears of joy. I can't wait to share her after photo with you all...she is beautiful.






Sunday, September 1, 2013

It's all about perspective.....



After posting my blog earlier today, I began thinking that maybe I could help you to read about the screening day from at least a few of those 311 angles.

To read about Jay's perspective click Here

Read what's on Deb's heart Here

To read from my dear friend Jasmin click here

To hear from the highly loved Ali click here

Read about Josh's take on the day here

KJ writes about here day here

Michelle writes here

I'll post more photos as they are released to us through the media team, but for now here are a few from the big day......
...A view of the line...
...The prayer station...
...Our founder Don Stephens with a woman who was waiting in line...
...Thousands patiently waiting...

...This looks into where my friends at pre-screening stood...

This very well be one of my favorite pictures from the day.... This is a photo of John, our finance director onboard. He was a patient escort for the day, and this was captured as he gave a mama a break from carrying her severely disabled son......it is moments like this that helps me to know why I am here.
**All photo and video credits go to the AMAZING Mercy Ships Media Team**




A day of hope....


It was written on the faces of every person I saw on Wednesday---- hope. Hope for an opportunity, a chance to be helped, a chance to be made well by this big white ship.
Wednesday was the day we had been looking forward to for months. All the prep work had been done, and the anticipation was at max. As we set off in the land rovers at 0530, the excitement was palpable. Today was the day we were going to finally meet so many of the people whom we will share this next 10 months with. This was the day we would meet the faces we would laugh, cry, and rejoice with. This is the day that the patient stories would begin for this outreach. The day that we would meet the thousands who have been hopeless for so long, and to finally give them a chance. 
Although the line began forming the night before, it continued to grow throughout the day. Over the course of the day we have estimated that there were 7,534 people in line. 4,236 patients and caregivers came through the main gate and 1,326 were given a “yes” by the prescreening nurses to be seen by the surgeons. It was a long and overwhelming day for all involved, but it was also an amazing day. It was a very special day to be a part of, and I am so thankful to be given the opportunity to continue living out my passion. 
What I have written below is my account of screening day. If you were to ask someone else, they will have a very different story. It’s amazing to think of this day from all 311 angles of the crew on site. No two of us will have the exact same memories or the same lingering feelings--it was a unique experience for each and every one of us. We all were a part of a greater story that day, all a part of the bigger picture. Some crew members spent their day taking histories of potential patients, some spent the day handing out water and food, and some assisted the surgeons. Some wrote out patient appointment cards, some helped to walk people from one point to the other and some spent their day praying. There were joyful moments to the day, and if you asked me for my overall view on the day I would say that it was absolutely incredible how many people we saw and could help. However the people who I will remember forever are not the ones we said “yes” to. But rather those I had to look in the eye and say “no” to as I watched their hearts break and spirits whither.
I knew going into this year that my experience would be different from the year before. I knew that as a “line screener” I would have a much harder job. I had prepared myself, but It still for me was one of the hardest days I’ve had in Africa. Actually, I take that statement back-- it was one of the hardest days of my life. As a “line screener” my role for the day was to walk up and down the lines essentially picking out the people that I knew we could not help. I was paired with a wonderful Congolese man name “Cena” to translate for me. When we began walking the lines at 0630 I quickly knew that we were going to be a great team.  We said a quick prayer for wisdom and safety and with our hearts pounding in anticipation headed out into the crowd. 
One of my very first patients of the day was named Victoria. I saw her almost instantly from far away, and as I slowly approached I braced myself for what I knew was to come. Victoria has a severely misshapen body and although I have never seen this condition in the West it is not uncommon here in Africa. I have seen many people who look just like her in the markets both here in the Congo and in Guinea last year. Due to her crumpled, twisted skeleton, she actually moves about on all fours, something very similar to a dog. She wears flip flops on her hands to protect them from the African soil and is considered the lowest of the low here in Africa shamed by all that look at her. She had been waiting in line with her mother for hours--hoping that maybe this would be the day her body could be changed. I spoke with her for a few minutes telling her how sorry I was, but that unfortunately this was something that we could not do. I was crouched down with my knees in the sand so that I could look her in the eyes as I delivered this terrible blow. She held it together, stoic, unwavering.....until I told her that I thought she was beautiful. Tears began streaming down her face, matching the ones coming down mine. I honestly don’t know if she had ever been told that before. Imagine living your entire life without one person ever saying that you were beautiful, that you were worth something. I prayed for her and sent her on her way. It was not even 6:45am and I stood tears still lingering in my eyes as I watched her maneuver her tangled limbs back through the line. 
I took a deep breath, regrouped and moved on, knowing that the day would not be getting any easier. 
The morning continued much the same, walking up and down the lines telling people how sorry I was and turning them away. Working my way through the line, it was obvious to me at one point in the day that people were avoiding my eyes. They were actually hiding behind other people, or turning their heads the other way so that I wouldn’t look at them. I could see their fear and desperation and it broke my heart. I could see that they were afraid that my eyes would lock with theirs, and that they would be the next person I would ask to step out of line and ultimately send away. The thought hit me like a load of bricks.... To them, I was just like a vulture picking out my next prey. My “prey” were the kids with obvious neurological problems, and adults with leg or arm deformities. It was the elderly people who I knew would tell me they have leg, back and body pain---spent from years of hard labor. It was honestly shocking how many people I could peg, before even beginning the conversation. As the day went on, face after face, conversation after conversation, I realized that the hardest for me were the mamas and papas who looked hopefully into my eyes as they took their children off their backs and said “He does not walk, he does not stand, and he does not speak”. Each had the same words, but  even without these I already knew their story.  I knew the words that would come out of their mouths long before they even saw me looking at them across the line. I knew their story after seconds of looking into their deep dark eyes. A few could focus and track my movement, those were the Cerebral Palsy kids. Others had devastating neurological injuries  and had no awareness of what was going on around them, a life filled with blank stares and non-purposeful movements. These injuries for some were maybe due to prolonged labor and others from the high fevers associated with malaria. Each parent that I talked to looked at me desperately as I explained that this was not their fault. That this was no ones fault, and I watched in their eyes as I told each of them that there are children born in my own country just like this. Each one had a spark, for just a brief moment. I could tell they were thinking, could this be true? Could it be true that there are children born in the west just the same? Each parent I complimented on what great care they were taking of their child. How I could tell they were an amazing mama or papa by the facts that their children were clean, without sores, and well fed. I showed each of them how to do passive exercises with their child to prevent their arms and legs from contracting. But this wasn’t enough, because at the end of it, no matter how many compliments I paid and tips I gave--I was still sending them away hopeless. I had confirmed for them that their child would always be this way. That no amount of surgery or medicine could change their outcome. I will never forget the Papa who sat weeping as I prayed for him and his son. I will never forget how he sat for a few more moments, my hand on his back. How he slowly looked over at me, wiped away his tears, gathered up his belongings and walked away carrying his son with his head held high into the world that would not be kind to them. 
This heartbreaking process went on for hours----12 hours and 20 minutes to be exact. My translator, Cena, caught on so quickly. He could tell when I paused and took a deep breath that we were going to approach someone and give the dreaded “No”. He saw parts of me that day that few have ever seen. He saw me praying for people who I knew would continue out their lives without another opportunity for help. He heard my prayers, when all my patients could discern was their name. He heard me asking God to give these beautiful people strength, provision, and comfort. He saw my tears, and he heard my cries to above to give them all that they would need to care for themselves. For him it was just as difficult. I was the one making these decisions, directing these difficult conversations. But ultimately it was him delivering the news. He was the one whose words could be understood. Who they would remember speaking with the day their hope disappeared. 
Some people were stoic in receiving the news, others could not believe it but eventually accepted it and walked away. The hardest were the ones who stood in front of you and continued to ask why. There was one woman who I had to turn away that I feel physically ill every time I think about. As she stood in front of me and I told her that we could not help she transformed from stoic to emotional. I kept explaining and telling her how sorry I was, but she did not move. Finally, she burst into tears. As she wiped them away with her beautiful green dress she looked me straight in the eyes and asked boldly, “If you won’t help me, then who will?” To this I had no words, because she was spot on-- it left my gut aching and my mouth dry.  The two word answer to this question I knew; No One. No one will help her, no one will try to ease her burden, no one will show her compassion, love, or her worth. 
I know that we can’t change the whole world, but we can change it for a person at a time. That day I felt as though I changed many worlds....but not for the better.  I can’t stay wrecked in this sad spot, because I know that for every “no” I said, there were many other crew members saying “yes” to someone else. As much as it is my inclination to think of all the people I spoke to, I actively have to remember all the other faces in the line. All of the people who I didn’t talk to because for them, the answer was an obvious “yes”. 
Starting this evening our wards will begin to fill with patients. I am slowly transferring out of the dark and back to my other way of thinking. I am regaining  excitement for our service here, but am still working out the hurt, the raw emotion and the ache that comes with knowing we can never fix all the brokenness in the world. As much as it hurts, this is the country in which we work and the people in which I have been called to serve. The poorest of the poor. Those without another opportunity, those who have very little hope. 
As this service starts please just be thinking of us over here in Congo. I know that we will do so much good in the next 10 months, and I’m excited to share that all with you as it comes...but for now, please just sit in the reality of why we are here with me.....this sickening, hard, place. The place where as hard as it may be, we choose to see the need in order to feel the necessity for action.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Prescreening



It’s not often that a ship filled with 400 volunteers whose goal is to provide medical care flows out into the street. The past two weeks have been a constant coming and going that leaves the streets of Pointe-Noire with a laundry list of questions. Why are you here? What do you mean you live on a ship in the port? What kind of surgery do you do? Can you take me to your ship? Some people look at our skin and guess that we are from the big white hospital ship others have no idea why we are here. Once we tell them that we are here to provide medical care, the question that always follows is what types of things can you help me with? We explain about our specialties; Orthopaedic for children less than 15 years of age, cleft lips, cleft palates, facial tumors, VVF, hernias, cataracts, dental problems...People are typically excited to hear, and It can be a compelling thing to meet potential patients out in the streets. Instructing them to come to our screening day, leaving them with bits of paper with the screening day details and hoping that they will turn up. It can also be a hard thing, when you meet people with very real needs, but unfortunately just not something we can help with. Our taxi driver the other evening actually brought his child to us, just to make sure after we had instructed him that it sounded like something we couldn’t help with. It was an obvious neurologic deficit...something that as much as we all wanted to, we just can’t help. It’s something after a year of being here that you will certainly have to do, but it never gets easier to squash someone’s hope. The look in their eyes as you say, “ I’m so sorry, but we can’t help” is the absolute worst. To see that glimmer leave, to see their hearts sink, and to watch as they pull their emotion back and say thank you. It’s heartbreaking--as much as we want to change their world, we can’t. What we can do is leave them with ideas for comfort measures, and some prayer-- which sometimes feels like a courtesy prize...but I know that our God can take care of things. That he cares for all of us, even that little boy who may never walk, talk, or be considered normal...

As we prep for our big screening day on Wednesday, we are anticipating thousands of people. The team has been planning for months and it’s all hands on deck as we near closer to the day when we will meet so many of our prospective patients over the course of 12 hours....

One story that has left an impact I think on so many of us here on the ship is the story of our first patient. Monday the 12th my friend Mirjam flew in from Holland. The group that came that evening was one the first to arrive by plane into the Congo. That evening we all were able to see the way God weaves our lives together. How he is a constant provider, and how faithful he is. There is a man who lived in Nigeria. He has had a tumor for 12 years, and has been unable to receive help. Recently someone told him that he should go to the Mercy Ship--that they (we) would be able to help. So he found out where we would be next, and he saved, and he put himself on a plane to the Republic of Congo. He boarded the plane with hope and the dream to have his surgery. I can’t imagine all of that planning, determination, and drive only to arrive in the country, and then think---how exactly do I find this ship?

But as I said, God provides. That evening he was sitting out near the airport, and he saw a flip of a sign that had the Mercy Ships logo printed on it. That sign was held by one of our crew, there to pick up a group of arrivals. This could be where the story ended, that moment of sheer joy when he found the ship! But it’s get’s much better than that.....In that group of arrivals happened to be two of the four screening coordinators. (pretty much the very very best possible people to be in the presence of in his current situation). He explained his situation and they jumped into work mode, literally 30 minutes after touching down on Congolese soil. They found him a place to stay that evening, and now he is living at our unopened Hope Center-awaiting screening day this coming weekend.  Can you imagine how many things in that scenario could have gone wrong? How he could have not seen the sign, or how there could have been a different group flying in? But no--God is good, and he put everyone in the right place that evening to provide for the first patient of the outreach. 

Looking forward to this week we need God’s provision. We need his hand on all of us as we try to carry out his work here in the Republic of Congo. We need wisdom, discernment, and stretch to carry out his beautifully orchestrated plan..

Monday, August 19, 2013

#sail with us




A view from the top deck--Does this make you a wee bit nauseous? 

Don't worry--we didn't have to use them!

....Beautiful blue seas....


Yes-we flew kites, and yes-some of them were homemade


Just a few of the dolphins along the way who came to play in our waves

Home Sweet Ship