What does Love look like?

This is a question I’ve asked myself over and over in the last few weeks. I think I began asking myself the question only minutes after I received the call that I needed to come home. I thought about it a lot during my nearly 23 hour travel home, and it has consumed my thoughts late into the night after my Grandma has gone to bed. It’s popped into my mind as I look at her across the room sitting quietly in her chair, and it’s blaring as I pack up this life here again only to board another plane to Africa...... What does love look like? Does it look the same to everyone? Does it transcend all languages?  Does it have a universal symbol?

Love is something we all reach out for and crave, it’s what makes this great world spin and what our Father gave to us freely. We see it on billboards and commercials. We sing about it in songs, and plaster it on cards. The Beetles said that “All you need is love” and Ingrid Michaelson said that “love can pay the bills” For me, I have never had a deficit, not once. Even in my worst moments when I have felt alone, I have never ever been without love. I have been shown so much love in my lifetime by so many people, and have felt surrounded especially during this time with the loss of my Grandpa. 

In the last few weeks these are a few ways love has looked to me:

Love has looked like friends putting important tasks and jobs to a screeching halt and staying up half the night so that I wouldn’t have to be alone. It’s listening and crying alongside a friend even when you can’t find the right words. It’s being handed freshly made cups of coffee in between meetings, and it was in the room when I came back after a long day of organizing my departure to find my laundry done and folded. It was there as I was given one last “see you later” hug only to be handed a bag of snacks thoughtfully packed for a long plane ride. It’s in the notes quietly slipped between clothes only to be discovered once my feet were back on American soil. It’s text messages and phone calls across the oceans and across state lines. It’s a handmade card in the mail from a dear friend far away. It’s driving hours one way to be there on a hard day. It’s a best friend dropping all her plans at the last minute in order to cram all proper fall activities into one day. Love is staying up late to just “be” next to a beloved friend and waking up early in order to fit one more cup of coffee into the day......

To my Grandma love looks like cleaning kitchen cabinets and sleeping in her bed so that she doesn’t have to be alone. It’s holding together the pieces for her when her heart was just torn in half. It’s being there every moment of every day as she figures out her new life. It’s being the reminder to take medication when that is the last thing on your mind.  It’s being present when the other part of you has gone missing, and you know that it’s never coming back. It’s making noise, in a house that soon will be far too quiet after spending 56 years in it with the love of your life.

If you put 10 people in a room and asked them to describe love, they may all give different answers. The answers could be simple, flowery, poetic or funny depending on your crowd, but for me;  Love is practical, Love takes time, Love is being present, and Love can transform your life.  It’s thoughtful, generous, and time consuming. It’s putting yourself out there and expecting nothing in return. It’s wonderful to receive and even better to give. It’s in the bigger things, but it’s also in the smaller gestures. It’s in the actions that make the other person pause and reflect, grateful for the people they have surrounded themselves with and the life they have formed.......Love will always win, Love is all around us, and I think I agree with the Beetles.....Love is all we need.