25 days......

This week has been a whirlwind......  We had two days filled with courses for local health care providers. The first, a neonatal resuscitation course, and the second a practical course for nurses on preventing back injuries and prevention of pressure sores. They both came with their own set of obstacles as working in the developing world is never easy, but ended up being a success. It was on Monday that I sent a text message to a friend that read, “why can’t working in Africa ever just be easy?” These words came unfiltered from my lips after three hours of waiting at a hot, dusty train station for participants. Blame it on the heat, or just one too many recent occurrences of “African Time”, but either way my patience for this place was almost to an end. I battled through the day, and two days later found myself in the same situation. Wading through the bureaucracy of working in the Congo was too much yet again, and this time even my translator was frustrated. He said to me, “ Hannah, I don’t understand. You are here and wanting to teach, there are nurses just over there who are eager to learn, but the system just won’t allow it and it frustrates me!”. “Me too Baufray, me too” was my simple reply. As we stood gazing out into the compound of this African hospital it struck me yet again that I wasn’t called to this job because it would be easy or glamorous. I was called here to give every ounce that I have in order to leave a mark in the healthcare of this country. If we gave up every time we hit an obstacle we would be back sitting in our comfortable home, focusing solely on ourselves...and I never, ever, want that....

The week continued on, and for a few days, I couldn’t quite shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach that change was about to occur. For those of you who didn’t know, my plan, and what I felt like God was calling me to, was to continue on with the ship to Guinea and land back in the states in November. I was ecstatic about following up with patients, reconnecting with our translators, and feeling the Guinean dirt on my feet again. I literally have had dreams about what I would say to “T” when I hugged him for the first time in a year. I have had this ache in my soul to return, and it would finally be coming true! Then about 2 months ago the reports of Ebola started rolling into the news. The country that has been through so much and still lies in the bottom 10 of the world was being struck yet again. The situation has improved drastically, but is still not yet deemed “clear” of this deadly disease. I knew somewhere deep in my soul that taking a ship of 400+ volunteers there might not be the best idea, but I thought I might still be okay....

As I mentioned before, this week I just knew that it would in fact not be okay. Mercy Ships announced on Thursday that we would be postponing  our visit until a more settled situation is clear and instead sail to Benin for a 10 month outreach. I respect this decision, and understand their change of plans as it is this week that we would have been sending a team of volunteers and containers of supplies to Guinea in the midst of a crisis. Looking at the bigger picture, in the coming months it would have made a difference in our screening days for patients, in our safety as we moved about the country, and it would even be possible that people coming to serve onboard would be quarantined upon reentry to their homelands. Putting all the logistics aside, the idea of ebola on a ship where a simple GI bug spreads like wildfire just isn’t in our best interest....

As I said I respect this decision, but I am very disappointed. 

With this disappointment came some soul searching, and I have decided to finish my field service here in the Congo and then head home to figure out what life looks like there. 2 years I will have been gone when I make my re-entry in mid to late August. 2 years of living in the developing world and having my life radically changed by not only the people of Africa, but the people from all of the world that I now call my family. So what I thought I had months to prepare for, I now have 25 days to do. To pack up my life, finishing handing over my work,  say my goodbyes to the people who have made a mark on my life, and board a plane.

I don’t feel finished with Mercy Ships, but I know that for now, this chapter has come to a close. It’s an odd feeling to be so sad about a decision, yet know with a deep peace that it is exactly what you are supposed to do. In a few months I will be a nomad again, but this time on my home soil. I will have to go through the “re-entry” that everyone before me has dealt with, and slowly pick up the pieces of a life that feels like a distant memory. 

Am I scared? To be completely honest I think I am somewhere on the scale near terrified. But I know that it will all be okay. God has got it together, and he knows my steps long before I ever take them. I look forward to re-connecting, and replanting roots..... I look forward to sharing more of my story with you in the coming months and properly share with you about the people who have changed my life. I came to Africa to serve, and I will leave transformed by the experience. 

To all of you who have supported me along the way, I will never be able to fully explain the depth to which I thank you. The last 2 years would not be possible without your love, support, and prayers. From the bottom of my soul, thank you.

2.5 Jobs

Life here is well......Busy. Even though it’s simple, every moment of the day is always filled to the brim and quite honestly some days pouring onto the floor.... Currently I am filling a few roles: clinical nurse educator for the ship, nurse/charge nurse on the maxillofacial ward, and Congolese nurse educator. I like to call them my “2.5 jobs”.

       My weeks are filled daily with preparations for both the constant wave of nurses through this place and the training program that I have designed and carry out for Congolese nurses. Add in shifts every other weekend on the wards, friends, other “normal” activities, and BAM- a carefully balanced juggling act is right in front of your eyes.  (On a side note, when I put “learn to juggle” on my list of life goals I didn’t think I would mean this type of juggling). I have been stretched, pushed to my limits, broken, carefully put back together, poured into and filled with an overwhelming joy. I have grown in so many ways during this field service and can honestly say I am a different person than when I came back for “round two” on this big white hospital ship that I lovingly call home. Today I want to share with you about one of my jobs, and probably my favorite at the moment, the Local Nurse Education Program. 

My idea for this program started in the back seat of a taxi while bumping down a dusty road in Guinea last year. After talking with my boss, it turned out that the ship was actually planning to do some education for the following service. Some planning, proposals, and many meetings later- the program launched off the ground.  When I came back to the ship in August, the idea of starting this program I was so passionate about from scratch was a massive, incredibly scary thought that honestly provoked a feeling somewhat similar to dry heaves. It’s taken a lot of self pep talks, chats with friends and prayer to get me going in the right direction, push through and pull out all the stops. Long hours, late nights, tears, passion, determination and some good ole fashioned elbow grease has produced an amazing program for local nurses. 

The idea that started small flourished, and has evolved into what it is today, an intense six week program focusing on hospital based nursing. To date, we have had 8 nurses complete the six week program. There are 2 nurses currently in the program, 2 nurses from another town who flew in to complete a one week intensive training, and 47 nurses who were able to receive two full days of training on the resuscitation of newborns. It’s easy to read this and think “wow”, but to me these nurses aren’t just a number. They are beautiful people who have had to push themselves to the limits to be included in a program that can make an impact on the health care system of their country. They have had to fight for every bit of education that they have ever received. They have given up sleep, worked long shifts, and sometimes put the lives of their families on hold to power through this program. On multiple occasions I have had to fight for funding, supplies or space, and I have done so happily because when it comes down to it I was born into a country where education is my right and I will do everything in my power to give them a chance. I was able to go to a nursing school that taught me to critically think, to make solid assessments and to work independently. I have been handed opportunity after opportunity on a silver platter, and I am determined to do everything in my power to give them the hand up they deserve. 

When I first started working here in the Congo, I heard from many people that nurses here were cruel, or that they didn’t care about their patients. I heard horror stories of what had happened in the hospitals, and I witnessed many of these things myself during visits. I heard that nurses bribed their patients, and would only care for the patients who paid them extra.....So one day I asked my new friends, is this true? Does this happen here? With their eyes downcast they told me that yes, it does. I asked if they could explain why, and this was the response, “to feed their families”. I was told that here, almost all of them spend their first two years by working for free. Showing up every day for nothing, in the hopes that one day they will gain a paid position. I find myself often wondering, if this was my life, would I do the same? It’s easy to say “oh no, I would never do that”....but then I think about it more....would I? If my family needed to eat and bills needed to be paid, would I do it too? Would you?

In my work, If I don’t know a medication or a procedure, I walk myself over to the drug book or the computer and look it up. I am given resource after resource to make myself the best possible nurse, but these ladies have no options. They simply give the medication and hope that it doesn’t harm anyone. They talk about how they often do things “blindly” without understanding why because they are simply never afforded that right. Let's take a minute to look at the differences in our two worlds. In my world, If a patient arrests on my shift I call a code blue and while I wait for the 20 people to come running I hop on a stool and begin compressions with the assurance that medically trained help will be there within 30 seconds. In their world If a patient arrests, they must call a doctor and wait for them to arrive. Once they arrive, they must move the patient and then carry them on a stretcher to another part of the hospital (sometimes 3 or 4 flights of stairs in either direction) before they begin resuscitation. Because nurses are not trained in CPR, they simply wait and watch the life in front of them slip away. Let's look back at my world for a second, In my country even 12 year old babysitters are taught how to initiate CPR or deliver rescue breaths. How is this fair? The answer is, it's not.... but it is their reality every single day. They simply carry out tasks to the best of their ability, and pray that no one dies on their watch. They have spent countless hours pouring everything they have into patients when they have every odd constantly stacked against them. Even if they know what the best treatment is, they hope that the patient can afford it and that the patient’s family can find it out on the streets. Yes, you read that line correctly, families are responsible for gather all medications and medical supplies for use on their loved one. Dorine, one of the nurses said to me once, “compassion should always be followed with action. It is the hardest thing to know what you should do, but be unable to do it.” I cannot imagine that feeling of day after day defeated by the system in which you work. Unsure of yourself, but unable to stop, because who else will take care of these patients? Who else will deliver the medications and change their bandages? Carine, Hermine, Lydie, Chantal, Gina Rose, Blandine, Gallee, Dorine, Caryle, Christella, and many more have changed my life. They have shown me what hard work looks like. They have inspired me to be a better nurse, and to never take what I have for granted. 

Helpless is a word that I have often used for how their job must make them feel....my goal for this entire program can be defined in one word; Empowerment. I want to empower these nurses. I strive to put the tools and knowledge in their hands that can help them change lives. I want to arm them with information, ideas, and the drive to change healthcare in the Congo.

        Don’t get me wrong, working in a third world culture has had its fair share of challenges and frustrations. There have been days where all the participants were over an hour late, there have been days that I put hours into planning and they didn’t show up, and days where directing a classroom of 32 adults has made me wish I had a teaching degree and a “mom” voice. I have had days of feeling utterly defeated, and days where I wish I was at home, an entire continent away from this crazy big white ship. There have been days that I have cried about the overwhelming need here and days that I sit down and think, am I doing anything for these people? Am I making any difference? There have been days that I pray to God that simple things that I take for granted like gloves or soap can make their way into the local hospitals. Through it all, at the end of most days I can see clearly, and can understand why I’m here. That my effort is not failing, but making changes bit by bit. I don’t believe that I can change healthcare for this country in 10 months, but I am confident that I can impact one person who can impact it for one more person who can then impact one more person. Throughout this program, even on the hardest days this idea has kept coming back to me. That education can and will transform nations, and that through this program we could save the lives of people we will never meet or come in contact with. Years from now a life could be changed all because of the effort we put in here investing in some of the most amazing women I have ever met. 

As crazy as this journey has been, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing what I’ve been up to...

Peace and Love to you

Happy Valentines Day!!!

A day late, but it's the thought that counts....See what our patients have to say about Love.....

Silence

After months of silence, I break it tonight with a post from a friend.....

I have no real excuses as to why I've been silent for so long. Call it a writers block, call it exhaustion, call it, "I just don't know how to do this amazing place justice".....either way I admit it's been way too long.

Tonight I break it for a story that touched me and made me realize I've been selfish not to share what has been happening in my world. My world of patients, the wards, and the local nurses. There is a constant busyness to my days, and a flurry of my evenings---but I pledge from here on out to keep you all updated.

Please take a few minutes to read from my friend Amy's blog. She writes about Angelique a beautiful woman whom we have had the pleasure of doing life with for the last 2 months.

Enjoy Amy's brilliant words and captivating story telling here